The Soft Skills of a Pioneering Lawyer: Empathy, Storytelling and Persuasion with Shahrad Milanfar
KEY POINTS
- Empathy is strength, not weakness.
True advocacy means connecting human-to-human, not overpowering the opponent. Milanfar’s empathy-driven approach helps juries and adversaries understand justice through humanity. - Storytelling wins trials.
A great lawyer is a great storyteller — one who translates pain, loss, and truth into narratives that juries can feel, not just understand. - Technology and curiosity are non-negotiable.
From iPads to AI, innovation amplifies efficiency and persuasion — but only when used responsibly and with skepticism. - Self-awareness beats performance.
Confidence comes from authenticity, listening, and managing stress — not from pretending to be fearless. - Law is evolving — lead the change.
The profession’s future belongs to lawyers who blend skill, empathy, and adaptability to redefine what justice looks like in a changing world.
Transcript
Title: The Soft Skills of a Pioneering Lawyer: Empathy, Storytelling, and Persuasion with Shahrad Milanfar
Source: Between the Briefs – Steno Podcast
(00:00)
We have to ask ourselves: is the snowball easier to stop at the top of the hill, halfway down as an avalanche, or at the bottom? The more you train yourself to recognize those triggers — I have a martial arts background, so when my hands start to clench and I feel the pulse in my fingers — that’s when I know it’s time to breathe.
🎵 Music Intro
(00:29)
Welcome to Between the Briefs, a podcast by Steno.
We share practical tips and expert insights on the pre-trial process, court reporting, and legal technology to keep you updated on how technology is revolutionizing the litigation process and the legal sector.
I’m your host, Adrien Seya, and today we’re joined by Shahrad Milanfar — a seasoned trial attorney, mediator, and pioneer in integrating technology into the courtroom.
With over 22 years of experience, Shahrad has handled high-stakes personal injury cases, including catastrophic injury, wrongful death, and elder abuse — securing record-breaking verdicts, such as a $32 million award in an elder-abuse case.
He also teaches trial skills at Golden Gate University School of Law and the National Institute for Trial Advocacy, and he’s passionate about using technology and mentorship to enhance the profession.
(01:36)
Adrien: I’m so glad to have you here. Let’s start from the beginning — you had a successful start as a District Attorney, right?
Shahrad: Yes. I volunteered for six months at the San Francisco DA’s office just to gain trial experience. I wanted the backbone of courtroom work, but ultimately shifted to the civil track.
(02:22)
Adrien: You wanted trial experience — do you feel you got that?
Shahrad: Absolutely. I studied at Golden Gate Law School (which sadly no longer exists) under my mentor Bernie Seagull, who focused heavily on trial practice.
We held mock trials at the Bryant Street courthouse, so by the time I entered the DA’s office, I had already spent hundreds of hours in court.
(03:48)
Co-host: People used to say the best way to learn trial skills was at the prosecutor’s office. Do you think that’s still true?
Shahrad: Not necessarily. You have to take ownership of your development. Many lawyers wait for opportunities instead of creating them.
I once gave a talk in a 500-seat auditorium — only three people showed up. They asked if I wanted to cancel. I said no, because discomfort is where growth happens.
Trial skills can come from anywhere — DA, PD, or civil practice — as long as you practice communication, depositions, and client prep.
We even train with improv and storytelling workshops at our firm to improve human connection and persuasion.
(05:59)
Adrien: You seem very committed to education. Why teach?
Shahrad: Because people invested in me. Mentors like Bernie Seagull and Romeo García shaped my career.
Giving back feels natural — I want young lawyers to avoid spending 30 miserable years in a profession they don’t enjoy.
(07:46)
Co-host: If you could add one class to law school, what would it be?
Shahrad: Many! Law school doesn’t prepare you to be a full lawyer. It teaches the letter of the law, but not persuasion, business, or human understanding.
Being a lawyer isn’t about arguing — it’s about persuading: opposing counsel, adjusters, judges, and juries. That’s what real advocacy is.
(10:01)
Adrien: Tell us about Milanfar Law.
Shahrad: I founded it in January 2020 after 19 years on the defense side — right before the pandemic.
It forced me to be creative and responsible; failure wasn’t an option.
Support from former colleagues, even from the other side of the courtroom, helped us thrive.
(11:29)
Co-host: What did creativity look like for you?
Shahrad: I’m not an artist, but I’m creative in storytelling. Clients come to us with problems; success means sending them away with one less worry.
Seeing the big picture and crafting a compelling story is essential. We’ve taken “worthless” cases from other firms and turned them into multi–seven-figure settlements by reframing the narrative.
(13:36)
A strong team is key. My wife helps run the firm — and we’ve built a culture of empathy and mutual support.
We don’t tolerate toxic behavior. Every staff member truly cares about our clients, and we only take clients we genuinely like — because you can’t be a good voice for someone you don’t believe in.
(16:05)
Empathy and culture matter.
Many think plaintiff lawyers must be combative, but kindness isn’t weakness. I can stand firm against aggressive defense counsel while staying respectful.
Persuasion, not aggression, wins trials. And because I understand the defense mindset, I can show them the human side of each case — or let the jury decide if they ignore it.
(19:20)
Adrien: You’re known for integrating technology into trial work. How did that start?
Shahrad: My first iPad trial was in 2014 — and I’ve used one ever since. It lets me move freely and present efficiently.
Technology constantly evolves, so curiosity is essential. Lawyers get in trouble with AI because they rely on it blindly.
AI can draft, but we must edit and verify — just as we would with a junior associate’s work.
(25:54)
AI isn’t perfect — it makes mistakes like humans.
The key is skepticism and supervision: use AI for first drafts, but refine and personalize the result.
(26:42)
Co-host: Let’s talk about storytelling. How do you craft stories that win juries?
Shahrad: By knowing your client deeply — who they were before, and what was taken from them.
If I can show jurors what was truly lost, they’ll see the humanity behind the case.
Storytelling is cultural for me — Iranians grow up surrounded by stories, and that tradition shaped my trial skills.
Even witness sequencing matters; a trial should flow like a movie.
(30:05)
Adrien: Are storytelling skills teachable?
Shahrad: Absolutely. It’s not innate.
People see the result, not the years of 4 a.m. practice behind it.
Storytelling and improv are teachable arts. Once I stopped worrying whether people liked me and focused on authenticity, everything changed.
You can’t fake connection — jurors feel sincerity.
(33:11)
Improv made me a better listener.
In jury selection, silence used to terrify me — now I embrace it.
Let jurors speak honestly; it’s the only path to fairness.
(34:43)
Adrien: You’ve also spoken about imposter syndrome. What advice do you have for young lawyers?
Shahrad: I have a Ph.D. in imposter syndrome!
Every high performer feels it. Use it as fuel, not resistance.
Stay true to your humanity. When clients thank you for changing their lives, that’s the real reward — not the verdict number.
(38:20)
Lawyers must learn stress management.
We didn’t choose law because we needed more stress — yet we rarely address it.
If you don’t manage pressure, it consumes you.
When stress builds, recognize it early.
I notice my physical cues (clenched fists, rapid heartbeat) and use breathing techniques from martial arts to slow my pulse from 135 to 85 in 30 seconds.
(40:43)
Adrien: Last question — what’s your hottest take on the legal industry?
Shahrad: The legal industry is in flux.
Change is inevitable, but we must shape it positively — with empathy, innovation, and integrity.
(41:41)
🎵 Outro
Between the Briefs is produced by Steno. For more information, visit steno.com and subscribe to stay updated.